FB people

There's this guy who I've add and del quite a few times.

Seriously, I'm not interested to know your every move.

T- waiting for bf
T+1 - bf has arrived
T+2 - finished dinner
T+3 - heading to the club now.

That's an example of his fb updates. Really, if you were fility rich, there was a price for your head and I'm a bounty hunter. I'll thank you from the depths of my heart. But you ain't rich, I ain't a bounty hunter and we don't need to know what you're up to every hour.

Sheesh!

Life changes

that pretty much an understatement I know.

But if the heart was cast in stone and the one who put the spell can't undo it 9 years later. Could anyone else?

PS: I cringed when i saw someone on FB, in celebrating his birthday, the bf decided on the same top, same color. (and he had to plan his own birthday, decided on a cake with a cock. sheesh!)

Soap Opera style

Not sure if things would ever get that far, somehow I suspect I'm going to self sabotage the whole thing conciously or subconciously.

I'm not sure if it'll come to the point in the soap opera where the girl gets caught between 2 guys, a past tense that came back and a present tense. The old guy who has been long gone suddenly reappears and seems interested in her, but the whole past bad experience deters her from saying yes as much as she's more incline to him. Then there's the new guy who previously wasn't sure but suddenly decides he wants in and he's a much safer secure bet than the other.

And if she chose the safe bet, she won't be as happy as otherwise, but she won't be as sad as well. What unfortunately won't be known and shown is if the past tense actually walks away broken hearted.

Backtrack 9 years back

Started with the small fire. And it's still really under control. Honest. It's just a fire that brewing a pot of thoughts.

Watched ghost of girlfriends past yesterday.
-Love is magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end it leaves you weak, dependant and fat
-You've got to risk love Sandra! I didn't and look at me, I'm a lonely ghost of a man. It doesn't mean that you're never going to get hurt but the pain you feel will never compare to the regret that comes from walking away from love."
-"Life, you know, it's like a quick cup of coffee, if you haven't got the guts to love someone, love them with all you've got, then you end up drinking alone."

So yes, the happily ever after was that they both got together, years later, after he stopped being an asshole and started to let love in. Typical soap opera ending.

I have/am/will be suckered enough to anyone who says to me, I mean everything to them and they're just too scared to loose me. The thing is (maybe good) that only 2 people have said that to me in this lifetime.

13/1/00
"you let me know how to settle down... and teach me what is love"
15/1/00
"you know something? actually i cried yesterday night, cause i can't imagine living without you... As i pass those places we went, my bed.. these msgs, i never felt happier"
27/1/00
"Just that i want to make this my final relationship and will not afford anyone to come between us"

16/6/05
"well I'm not looking for the perfect bf, just someone that i treasure and talk to."
20/6/05
"hey, thanks for meeting up lunch with me... the cheer up that i needed wasn't the food but just to meet up and talk to you. Also i wanted to hug and kiss you in the toilet but damn! there were people."

23/6/05
"Jeremy, even if we are not bf, i even ask if you'll want to go Japan with me and i ask my friend to let us stay at his place. I know asking to be in a r/s now might be a bit too rush, which at times i do want to... But if i know i do that, I'll start making a lot of mistakes and screw up, which i really don't want to... I like you to the point i might be falling in love with you.. I don't want this feeling or thought to be ruin."

It's the looking back and having to decide what was real, what is real and what wasn't real, what isn't real anymore, that screws you over.

It's about how different the perspective of a relationship now is compared to then, or how similar it is. My good friend just said to me, pls do believe in what you believed in 9 years ago. But at the same time, I can't see how i could ever revolve my life around 1 person. Doing almost everything together. Monogamy, isn't something i believe in 100% either these days.

Playing with fire

"can you please sms me 9XXXXXXX, only if you think i'm worthy as a friend.."

Seems like the start of playing with fire again, nothing wrong there as long as I don't get burnt.

Mr. Obnoxious

http://sethologue.blogspot.com/2009/05/serendipity_30.html

Finally met him. In all honesty he is a nice guy, but he prolly also tops the list of the obnoxious people I've ever met.

He bought out a bag, and i asked why. He said cause i don't want the sides of my wallet to bend. If you put it in your pockets; front, side or back, it'll bend.
I put my wallet in the front. the last 2 wallets, each I've use for about 5 years, hardly bend at the sides. And if the bend, it's more cause of the no of cards, cash inside than anything else. My point: go get a good wallet. (That's just me being bitchy)

What really hit me was when he told me about his job. How he actually talked back to the NIE assessor.
He was doing his assessment and he noticed a girl that wasn't paying attention. He decided to get her to stand in class to listen to his lesson. I'm not a teacher, but even i know MOE doesn't quite agree with such methods these days. And it's an assessment, an evaluation, all the more i see the need to conform to their teaching philosophy. But he felt his teaching methods was effective, the girl learnt and so he told off the assessor. To further prove his point, he got the class to do a survey on his teaching and threw the results back at her.
He felt that he was in no way wrong and she was being haughty and she needed to be brought down to earth.

I thought it was a really bad move. Felt he could have brought his point across in a better way. Rather than to go head on, but he felt taking a softer approach would meant that he was admitting he was wrong. Excellent way to make an impression on someone who prolly has more links than you to MOE HQ.

Thereafter he got his school posting, he didn't like his choice. So he wrote to MOE requesting for a transfer, without telling the school. MOE informed the school. He talked to the VP about it, and he was allowed to contact the school he wanted to transfer to and so he wrote to all 3 parties, current, preferred, MOE on his transfer. MOE shot him back with an email saying, an intellect like you should know better....

Excellent way to cause a carrer suicide. He believes that his performance will be assess base on his teaching results only. This in addition to him having work for Singapore Inc, previously under DSTA. Shouldn't you by now realize how the system works and make the system work for you? How can anyone be so obnoxiously naive or ignorant to not believe the fiascos he's created will come back to hunt him?

Throughout my conversations with him, He never comes across as someone who thinks he's wrong or he might be wrong. He believes the if he's values are correct, he's going to stick to his gun. It's good that you have a set of values, its good to defend what you believe. But there has to be some flexibility in handling things. In the world we live in now, there are lesser absloutes. It's to quote a friend,"possilbilites rather than probabilities". It's about using soft power to infleunce people to get your point across. The net's a vast ocean of information and one could easily find 10 points to prove your point otherwise, if you're going head on.

of Green Apples and Roller Coaster rides.

Been working over the weekend for the past 3 weeks. Kind of want a break. Nic dangled a carrot that seem a bit hard to resist. So friday after work, and 4 hours later saw us in KL. Quite liked this trip. No clubbing. Things took a much slower pace. It didn't feel like there were to many places to go without enough time. It didn't feel like a rushed out holiday.

Went to a new shopping mall - bangsar viIIage to check out a shop. 1st night dinner was at Declicious! which was nice. They had some booklets there, took a look and it was advertisement for this appreal store - dude and the duchess. Local brand but really interesting clothes. So we or rather I HAD to go there!

Each design has about 8-10 pieces, each size has 2 pieces. So its pretty much bespoked. Only thing is that, their clothings are big. The average Malaysian isn't that huge, so i'm wondering which market are they catering for. Their S would be like a M for most brands. Prices ain't that steep. Shirts go for about RM190 which converted is about 70ish.

Had some local flavor which I normally step side. ate some fish noodles which isn't my usual palatet but tasted good, and ba ku teh which was different, kind of hard though. Cakes from alexis are really good, esp the tiramisu. so it doesn't taste authentically and it doesn't look that scrumpcious but its heavenly!

Broke my previous record, went up to 170km/hr. That by the way was incidential. The average speed home was about 140. Ride didn't feel that bad, though lots of lane changing with cars travelling much faster, and I ain't talking about lumbos or poshs, but just your average cars.

The Joy Luck Club

Not too creative a working title, but got that from the fact that now 1/2 the team has good luck bear. Things have been chaotic at work recently. As far as fengshui goes, this is as good as it gets. Both my manger and SE have the smaller ones, all the UW but 1, got the bigger one. So there on top of our CPU do they sit, shining their good luck on us.

3 consecutive days of OT. 3 consecutive weekends of working over the weekend, things are more up to date. But it's been a crazy ride.

The pissing thing is, from I, now its WE have to clear his backlog. I don't understand how can one be so thicked skinned. It's frustrating, here I/We are splitting the cases evenly on a daily basis. In addition to that, working hours are spent attending meetings and yet we're able to be pretty much up to date in our work. He on the other hand doesn't need to attend any meeting. Managed to have 2 weeks of back log. Which I/We are using the weekend to clear.

Travelling public - Catch 22

Was at Treevy's main page and they've got this mis connections thing there. On who,what,wear spotted, why,how. Basically it's like finding your missing dog, only chances are higher in finding your missing dog.

Got me thinking though, the well heeled, better off people tend to travel in private transport. (no limo gossip girl style here) And if you have your own car, no one's going to see you when travelling and no one's going to hit on you. So the poorer people who take and jostle and squeeze and smell all sorts of smell get to be notice, at the cheaper price of transportation but at the cost of almost getting mulled at times.