Senior Underwriter?

As with people who are full of themselves, I/We also need to tolerate and work with people who through connections get a better position than oneself.

Never thought I'll have to work with someone who sleeps his way up but yep, that's the reality of life. With no prior underwriting experience, after a year he's being promoted to a senior underwriter. Why? Cause his partner is his boss.

I've heard of the story from last year about the heart valve surgery. But didn't think too much into it. This year, we're on course and we were in the same team. Ultrasound says kidney cysts. What he wants to call? Renal Profile blood test. I got stunned. You're not going to get anything from the renal blood test with regards to the kidney cyst.

Then there was another case where there was some previous scarring noted. Guess what he said? From smoking. That left me speechless as well.

I'm only a JUNIOR underwriter and I know that his answers are rubbish! I really feel resentful that he's a senior underwriter. If he knew way more than me. He'll definately have my respect.

The self righteous can go screw themselves.

Once again reminded that there are all sorts of people in this world. And of those that i loathe, the self righteous ones rank up there.

Drinking wine and fine dining, having a good job and a double major doesn't mak you a better person. Nor does it means you're any better. Perhaps for your insecurities, you've decided that such make up your self worth, since granted, not everyone has what you have.
But not having any of those doesn't mean one lives a less fulfilling or fruitful life.

Least i don't take facts and turn them into rumors, Nor do i threaten or dictate another person's life. For the fact that i do not stoop as low as you, actually does make me a better person than you.

And as for being call a christian, you really should go join Church of our saviour. Clearly for all your church going, you still don't understand the basic principal of loving your neighbour as yourself and also the parable of the good Samaritan

Hong Kong

Technology is something one can't run away from. Can't never really run away from people with technology. The presence could be discounted but the influx of text serves as a reminder that you can't run away.

The good to that being, you're still remembered. And if one is petty enough, compare to the previous year's list to see who remembered or didn't. I apperciate the well wishes but I'm not upset if I didn't get from someone. Managed expectations, a skill one learns with age.

A trip of first. Going on a holidae alone, isn't really that bad. Its a good shopping trip. Go to the stores/places you want at your pace. In my case, it's been power shopping. But the stamina goes down a notch with each passing day. I'm getting old, quite proven. The bill, that i dread to see.

First time encoutering a typhoon, as a result, that cause a loss of first for an overseas tryst. It isn't really that scary. Well, then again. it's just a typhoon warning. The actual hasn't come, and when it does, I'm prolly back in sg.

Someone shared a secret with me. Its nice and comforting to know that it's still within me for people to feel comfortable to share. Esp since the last time we met was 3-4 years ago? Didn't expect the person to change as such. Drastic. Just hope the person doesn't lose him/herself in the process of it. Fear does bring out some ugly demons within us. Ah, my classic fear of relationships!

People, Taipei people definately are better looking. Not sure why i thought HK ple to be yummy the last time I came here. Singaporeans don't really dress up, but I think we're starting to look better than them. The last trip was in 06. Within the last 3 yrs, Singaporeans are starting to be very body concious and also more fashion savvy, even if it's new urban male. Least those clothes show the gym trained bods. There are more older people in HK and to see them wondering around somewhat aimlessly, its a sad sight. Old people are not much seen in Taipei.

There are still things/thoughts to be sorted out. The flight in didn't go well. Broke down half way. Still not too sure why to date. Stress, been too emotionally stable for too long or just the movie (dance sabaru). Heading back, I know i can't nor would I ignore the whole world, as much as that seem like a good, melodramatic move initally.

Retail theraphy stil works, but it's effects are only short term.

and there are those days

where you just want sit down and cry. Knowing that crying doesn't get anything done, and you get even more dispair and start to wonder your worth. Why people seem to be able to pull it better than you.

Getting older...

I guess I'm thankful for memory laspes. I can't remember how i felt or what i felt about during this period last year. Generally feedback is that I get moody.

Has it got better this year? I'm not sure. I know I didn't come out with a present list, that i use to do and it hasn't really sink in that it's less than 7 days away. Need a haircut.

Have yet to plan my first trip out alone. Haven travelled overseas alone for a holiday before. Don't really know how it'll feel it. I hope I won't feel bored. I know I feel bored walking orchard alone and can't wait to get home.

Maybe it's pathetic to run away from bad birthday dinners. But twice a row, I guess is good enough for me to want avoid it altogether now. Pay 268 just to escape it, does sound a little pathetic. Perhaps I should give it a twist, an oxymoron and have macdonals there by myself.

Maybe a quarter life crisis would mean, wondering how you're going to get enough to life comfortable (my standards of comfortable ain't excatly low), how to save enough for that pad of yours, be it a HDB,Private. How to pay the bills, yet have enough for a rainy day. Investments. Gosh, I feel adult? Everything requires money, thus the need to climb the corporate ladder, yet up each rug means twice the stress level. Self doubt comes in and you wonder if you're really pathetic and just can't handle stress or you're just not working hard enough. Next question you'll ask if it's all worth it? All the slogging for something a bit better. And maybe a few years down the road you realize you don't even need those. It was all society/peer pressure to achieve.

And you get so use to being alone, that feeling gets a bit difficult. Everyone's busy with their own plans anyway. Being alone isn't that hard or miserable after all. There's the endless freedom to do anything and everything or nothing at all. Quite ironic then, when i got a sms asking if things have gotten so bad, when the other party had found alternatives to things we use to do. Defination of BFF, go figure!

Road directions.

Was driving back, traffic light red. This white crossroad pull up by my side. Driver gestured me wind down the window. 1st reaction - am i driving without my headlights on. Check that instantly, nope. They're on.

So I unwinded the window. He asked how to get to potong pasir. That somehow didn't register intially, thought he want go bukit batok. Then realize its pp, told him str8 up. Heared his voice. AJ! Quite cute! Tone built, wearing singlet.

Reckon he must be out for chem sex!

Well it's the first time a driver asked for directions and the 1st happend to be a cute aj. Mental malfunction! He went the wrong lane initally, managed to horn him to the correct lane.
Thereafter wanted to signal left. But darned! I fogot where the signal stick was, went to switch on the wiper instead and just couldn't find it!

I did think of remebering his car plate. Maybe treevy but the processed thought, nah. The odds are too low and what would I have said anyway?

Road heading towards potong pasir. I think you're cute and you were in a rush for a sex session. Please include me in the next session you have?