Okay this took 2 deletes, much saving and 2 days in my mind to blog.
Christmas is about redemption. Of God sending down his 1 and only son to save us from our sin. Its either you subscribe to that or that Christmas is where all the fortune 500 make the bulk of their revenue (directly or indirectly)
But mainly apart from all the decorations and merry making and sleeping with Santa (if you're into plus size) or his elves (if you're into midgets). It’s a time to count ones blessing and to start reflecting on the year that's coming to an end. To reflect 365 days in about 5-7 days seem reasonable. Depending if you start from 23 or 25 all the way up to 31 to 1 or 2nd of the next year. Even auditors have a full force and they work for about 2 weeks, give or take.
In my case it was about 2-3 days ago where I was surfing from twitter to latte boy; you tube, to finding out that it was Kristin Chenoweth, to realizing who she was, to wicked; for good. That I reflected on the lyrics of the song.
"I've heard it said That people come into our lives for a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led To those who help us most to grow If we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you."
It's something that I believe since a young age, perhaps with more conviction then. That I make an impact in people's life, that’s all that matters, is that I do what I can to make life easier and better for them. And should they leave at the end of the day, then its cause I did what I needed to do. In digression from the purpose of this whole entry, then somewhere along the way. I kind of gave up on the self sacrificial 1 way street and insisted/demanded a 2 way street. Not necessary in a 50-50 split but somewhere close to that with a standard deviation of +/-10. Then that didn't really work out and a few years on it’s I'll just do what I can and sod expectations cause they're never met, ie: love oneself more.
Back to topic, it was the last line: But I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you. Which really is true. For the good or bad influence, and no matter how resilient to change consciously, people do and will have an impact on you, like it or not. And if you actually consider the person a friend (present/past tense) that the line definitely stands true. They might not give good advice, be totally useless in certain situations but in that 1 or 2 incidents, I'm sure they'll shine and actually surprise you and put that smile on your face. And you'll wonder how could you survive without that person.
What I’ve realize is that to all that there’s something called pride. In varying degree in all of us, towards different situations and concepts and principals. Pride has been known to be the start of the downfall of many great man. “In general, pride is at the bottom of all great mistakes ”- John Ruskin.
Not that I’m finding excuses for myself, but I do blame the current world we live in, where everything moves at light speed. Gentlemanliness, graciousness tends to be somewhat old fashion. We snap at things and people much faster. It’s a I world, I pod, I touch… Putting self first. And I think we’re obsessed with not being short change.
Yup, short change is the key word. We tend to expect people to make the first move if we feel we’ve been wronged. Making the first step otherwise would be akin to admitting that the mistakes ours. Letting the other part off too easily. And that is, an fine modern classic act of pride.
Which as much as I hate to admit, I’m guilty of it. It’s something that I think I will continue to struggle with and something I’ll find very hard to do. In reference to a biblical verse, Luke 6:29. If someone strikes you on the cheek, offer him the other one as well, and if someone takes your coat, don't keep back your shirt, either. What the verse is about is love. In specific loving your enemies.
And so forgiveness shouldn’t be that hard if there is love. Its hard cause there’s pride. The refusal to budge when one thinks one is wronged. It’s easy to forget or ignore love and thus forgiveness when it’s hardly practiced by anyone else these days. It’s actually easier to harp on the fact that one was wrong. It really is easier to feed on those negative thought then to give that all up and forgive. It really is easier to wallow in self pity, cause it’s a I world we live in. Since no one is going to care for me. I better take charge of the self caring and make sure I’m protected.
But perhaps the only way we are going to make a positive difference in the lives of the people around us, is to learn to let love take over pride. This isn’t going to be easy and we’ll definitely fall short of grace, since we’re all imperfect humans. If we’re going to live in a world of I, then least add another word behind it – care. I care.
*It's the 100th entry, quite good in terms of quantity and quality for a milestone entry.
