Christmas

Had an invited to go for a house party on christmas. I rainchecked it till the 11th. Was just really bored and thought it might be good to get out of the comfort zone once in a while and experience something new.

For the records, I'm not a crowd person and I have the worst PR skills. Bet even a mute could do better with his/her body language.

So yeah it was an eye opener. I won't excatly beat myself and be miserable about this. Couple of even candies and quite a bit of successful people there. Doing well basically. And well it's a gentle reminder that I'm way off track from that and I still don't see it happening anywhere in the near future. But with a little optimism, I didn't see myself being an underwriter (esp a medical 1) a couple of years back. When I was looking for jobs, I was still looking for underwriting assistant ones.

But the magic word would be contentment. Which at the current 'mo, Iwould be as long as I have a place (nicely done up) and a car (as a bonus, a contiential one as an additional bonus) So it seems I'm superfical since contentment seems quite materialistic. Well its prolly easier to be contented with the materialistic stuff then the ever unpredictable human relationships. Which can tend to range from draggy to boring to draining.

There was an awww moment there. When this not too bad looking tone body, with evisu jeans, ship broker aj did a long distance call to 1 of his hags in some faraway land. And feeling that love, that missing was really heart touching.

I'll lament about how I never get something like that, and I truly think I do not have something like that. The relationships I have seem so much more complicated and not that deep. Maybe its an I problem. Maybe I'm still living in fairytale land. BFFs, even the people who made that term popular don't seem to be that close anymore, aka Paris & Nicole (Too much american media trash influence?)